by Donna Nahlik, Chestnut Health Systems

Now that large numbers of parents have joined social media…and particularly Facebook…many teenagers are searching for other ways to communicate with their friends.  In short, they do not want to be on Facebook anymore because that is where we all are.   I am sure you have heard of Twitter, but are you familiar with Snapchat, Instagram, Vine, and Tumblr?  You should be, because I guarantee that your teens know about them, and they may be using those social media outlets to communicate with their friends through tweets, pictures, and videos.

by Donna Nahlik, Chestnut Health Systems

The countdown has begun, and I'll bet that just about every teenager in our lives knows exactly how many days are left in the school year.  They are finishing projects...studying for exams...and in some cases, getting a serious case of spring fever.  You remember it, right?  You stare out the window of your Math class...dreaming about being outside in the sunshine without a care in the world.

Summer time is magical for younger children and teenagers alike.  The days seem endless, and the lack of structured school activities gives kids a much-needed break.

Let's face it...many of our teens lead pretty busy lives these days.  Teens are tired from...

by Donna Nahlik, Chestnut Health Systems

The small town of Steubenville, Ohio has come under intense scrutiny over the past several months as two members of their high school football team were arrested for sexually assaulting a 16-year-old classmate.  The media exposure has intensified in recent days after the young men were found guilty in juvenile court. 

Anyone who thinks that this is a Steubenville issue…or an Ohio issue…or a small town issue…is deluding themselves.  Acquaintance rape is a nation-wide issue…big cities and small towns…East Coast and West Coast and Midwest…it happens everywhere (www.unc.edu).

by Donna Nahlik, Prevention Services Manager, Chestnut Health Systems

Quick…name three popular brands of energy drinks? 

Hmmm…I am guessing just about everyone who watches even a little television throughout the week would have very little difficulty naming at least three different brands of this popular beverage.  Why is that?  Well, the industry has grown by leaps and bounds in the past several years.  In fact, it has been estimated that as a whole, the industry topped ten billion dollars in sales in 2012!!! 

Yikes, right?  That is a LOT of money…and who exactly is responsible for all of those sales?  Well, adults are buying most of them, BUT…

by Donna Nahlik, Prevention Specialist II, Chestnut Health Systems

Ask any parent of a teenager, and they will tell you that their children’s friendships started changing sometime during middle school or early high school.  Early friendships (preschool and elementary school) tend to exist around shared activities and parental friendships.  Kids start out playing with the children of their parents’ friends or family.  Then they start school and begin making friends based on whom they sit next to or who is on their soccer team.  It is not very complicated, right?

Well, that all starts to change in middle school, and is solidified in high school. Pre-teens and teens start splitting off into more defined groups…sometimes still based on shared activities, but sometimes on things like status…or grades…or athleticism, or a host of other things.   Along with some of these changes in friendships comes something every middle and high school student can tell you all about… friendship DRAMA.

by Donna Nahlik, Prevention Specialist II, Chestnut Health Systems

A few months ago, this column focused on talking with kids about tragedy.  At that time, we were all shocked because a gunman had walked into a packed movie theater and killed 12 people...with an additional 58 people injured.  It was difficult to imagine that shooting happening in a movie theater...where most parents feel that there children are perfectly safe.

Then came a shooting at a mall in Oregon, and many of us started thinking, "Yikes...a mall?  My kid loves spending time at the mall.  Now I have to worry about mall shootings?"

Although these events have certainly happened more often recently, none of us were prepared for what happened on December 14th

by Donna Nahlik, Prevention Specialist II, Chestnut Health Systems

Thanksgiving is over, and...let the shopping begin, right?  Only in America do we give thanks for all that we have on one day, and then rush out the next day to buy more.  That is not a complaint...just an observation of a phenomenon that many of us are guilty of "buying" into.

Sometimes the meaning of the "season of giving" gets lost in the hustle and bustle of trying to find perfect gifts for a lot of people.

by Donna Nahlik, Prevention Specialist II, Chestnut Health Systems

“MOM…You are so MEAN.  All of my friends are going to the party tonight.  I am the only complete reject who is not allowed to go.  You are ridiculous.  Why can’t you be like Jenny’s mom?  She is so cool.  She doesn’t stick her nose into everything we do.”

Your son’s grade in Math has been slipping.  You have threatened to take away his phone if he did not bring it up to at least a “C” by the end of the quarter.  He didn’t do it but promises to try harder next quarter.  You are tempted to give in just to keep everyone happy.

Your daughter has been secretive about her text messages.  You have never regularly checked her messages before.  When you ask to see her phone, she refuses to show it to you.  You back down because you do not want to damage your relationship with your child.

Do any of these scenarios sound familiar? 

Parenting is hard…period.  It is the hardest (and the most rewarding) job a person could ever have.  Like any other tough job, sometimes you may be tempted to take the easy way out and let some things slide.

by Donna Nahlik, Prevention Specialist II, Chestnut Health Systems

According to the 2012 Illinois Youth Survey, 33% of Madison County 10th graders report having used alcohol in the past month.  33%...one-third of high school sophomores…Wow!  That number jumps even higher (to 44%) for Madison County 12th graders.

This data is extremely disturbing to me.  I know, I know.  There are some people out there who are thinking, “What’s the big deal?  It’s just what kids do”. 

On the contrary…underage drinking is a VERY big deal. Consider the dangers of alcohol to a teenager.  Alcohol is poison to the teenage brain.  The brain is not finished developing until a person reaches their mid-twenties.  Alcohol damages the still developing parts of the brain and causes irreparable harm.  This has been scientifically proven.  We also know that kids who drink before the age of 15 are four times more likely to become addicted to alcohol than those who wait to take their first drink at age 21.  It affects their heart and liver.  I could go on and on, but you get my point. 

These are teens, right?  Underage drinking is illegal, right?  So…how are young people getting their hands on alcohol?  Well…

We received the following email from Jessica at Colorado Tutors:

"My students and I are so happy we came across your page: http://www.edglenfamilies.org/ParenTEENS/parenteens-resources-for-parents.html. Your page has offered us some great resources (on substance abuse/health) that we were able to use in my tutoring class. :) Thank you!"

The students shared another link they found during their research.  They hope you find it informative and helpful!  http://www.lakeviewhealth.com/know-your-facts-drugs-and-alcohol.php

Thank you to Jessica and her students !

by Donna Nahlik, Prevention Specialist II, Chestnut Health Systems

Shootings at movie theaters, shopping malls, national attractions…these have occurred all too frequently in the past few months.  If these tragedies leave adults wondering what in the world is going on, can you even imagine what our kids and teens are thinking?

Parents used to be able to shield their kids and teens from some of the big news events happening in the world.  As long as they kept them away from the evening news and didn’t leave the newspapers lying around, they were in the clear.   Those days are long gone.  Teens today have instant access to all of the news, whether we like it or not.  News is available 24/7, and if you think they are not hearing about things just because they are not watching cable news, you are sadly mistaken.  Most kids have access to a number of online news outlets like Facebook and Twitter.  If your teens do not have access to these news sources, chances are they are hearing about things from friends who do. 

by Donna Nahlik, Prevention Specialist II, Chestnut Health

The start of a new school year brings lots of excitement…and lots of new stuff.  Look around any Wal-Mart or Target in August and you will see shopping carts piled up with backpacks, school supplies, lunch boxes, and clothes.  

Along with all that excitement, though, can be some stress and anxiety.  Am I going to like my teachers?  Are they going to like me?  Will I have any friends in my classes?  What lunch hour am I going to get?  Should I try out for the play?  Where is my locker?  The list goes on and on…and on.

For some families, there is added stress if the previous school year did not live up to expectations.  Did my child constantly forget to bring school work home?  Did he do poorly in a class?   Did she forget to turn in assignments?  These issues can derail a students’ grades and cause considerable friction for families.

What are parents and students supposed to do?  

by Donna Nahlik, Prevention Specialist II, Chestnut Health Systems

Tragedy marred the graduation ceremony for Brunswick High School in Brunswick, Ohio in early June when four BHS students were killed in an accident just hours before graduation.  Two graduating seniors, Jeffrey Chaya and Kevin Fox, both 18 years old, are among the dead.  Also killed were Blake Bartchak, 17, and Lexi Poerner, 16.  Seventeen-year-old Julia Romito was injured in the crash.

According to the Ohio State Police, Chaya was driving at a high speed when he went over a set of railroad tracks and then lost control.  The car went airborne, swerved, hit a tree and flipped over.  Lives were lost in that instant, and the lives of several families changed forever.

Later reports from home owners near the crash site indicate that teens often park near that set of railroad tracks and watch their friends speed over the tracks and go airborne.  There is no evidence that this was the case in this horrendous accident, but it is clear that high speed was an issue.  

by Donna Nahlik, Prevention Specialist II, Chestnut Health Systems

TV...iPod…Smart phone…computer…iPad…movies…video games…are our adolescents and teens EVER unplugged?  

Do they know how to act when they are not in front of a glowing screen?

It is a concern for many parents and educators.  How will our young people fare in a world that includes ever-increasing amounts of screen time, and what should we be doing about it?

A recent report from the American Academy of Pediatrics highlighted a big shift in technology use for even our very youngest children.  Here is some of what they found:
•    One out of every three children under the age of two has a television in their bedroom.  By ages 5-8…that percentage goes up to nearly half.
•    Nearly half of all children under two-years-old watch up to two hours of television or DVD’s every day.
•    Twelve percent of all two- to four-year-olds use a computer every day.
•    Nearly half of all children under age eight have access to a mobile device.
•    Forty percent of all households have the TV turned on ALL the time.

Donna Nahlik, Prevention Specialist II, Chestnut Health Systems

Like many people, I was shocked but not surprised to hear of the death of Whitney Houston on February 11.  Of course, the first thing out of people’s mouths upon hearing the news was, “Drug overdose, I’ll bet”.  We didn’t know for sure at the time, but recent news indicates that she did, indeed, have drugs in her system when she died.  We don’t know exactly what happened.  We don’t know why it happened.  What is clear is that Whitney Houston had a well-documented battle with addiction for many years.  

A few weeks after Whitney died, we hear of another stunningly beautiful and talented woman making really bad choices with drugs.  Demi Moore…really?

These women seemed to have it all.  Talent, fame, beauty, more money than most of us will ever see in our lifetimes….so…what on earth happened?

Donna Nahlik, Prevention Specialist II, Chestnut Health Systems 

If you went to your medicine cabinet…or wherever you keep medicine in your home…what would you find?  

Are the medications all current prescriptions? Are the over-the-counter medications current…or expired?

Do your kids have access to the medications?

National research shows that prescription drug misuse/abuse is the fastest growing drug problem in the United States (National Institute on Drug Abuse, 2010).  In fact, it is estimated that…EVERY DAY in our nation…over 2500 youth (under age 17) misuse or abuse a prescription medication for the first time.  Of the people who misuse or abuse prescription medication, 70% of them report getting the medication from a friend or relative.  This means that they were either given the drug by a friend or family member…OR…they took it without the individual’s permission. 

Donna Nahlik, Chestnut Health Systems

Some of them look kind of dazed.  Some walk slightly bent at the waist as if the weight of the world could topple them over at any moment.  Some are unusually cranky and never seem to catch up on sleep.

Who am I talking about?

World leaders, perhaps?  Doctors?  Wall Street executives?
Not even close.

I am talking about our teens.  OK…so some of those descriptions are slight exaggerations…but not by much.  More and more teens are reporting feeling stressed and worn out, and it is something we as parents need to take a look at.

Donna Nahlik, Chestnut Health Systems

“It’s not my fault I didn’t get my homework done…I was busy this weekend and besides, the teacher shouldn’t give homework on the weekends anyway”.

“I shouldn’t get in trouble for breaking her stupid toy…she shouldn’t have left it there”.

“The only reason I didn’t get my room cleaned is because you made me work on my project this morning”.

Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?  Maybe I should have asked whether any of these excuses sound familiar.  Children and teens (and quite frankly, some adults too) can be quick to place blame rather than take responsibility.  They want to let it be known that they are not at fault when something bad happens.  When they make a mistake, they insist that it would not have happened if someone else had just acted differently.  It makes you crazy, right?  What is a parent to do about a child or teen who just refuses to accept responsibility for their actions?  How did the teen get that way anyway?

The answer for how a teen ended up that way can be found by looking in a mirror!  I know…not what you wanted to hear, right?  It’s true though.  Think about it…how many times do we make excuses for our child’s (or even our own) behavior?  How many times do we try to fix their mistakes for them instead of letting them figure it out on their own?  How many times do we say, “That’s Ok honey, it wasn’t your fault”?

Donna Nahlik, Prevention Specialist II, Chestnut Health Systems  

Communicating with a teenager can be tricky.  That cooperative and talkative eight-year-old who wanted to tell you everything they were thinking at any given moment morphs into an uncommunicative, unresponsive, and sometimes downright secretive teen in just the span of a few years.  In fact, communicating with teens is a little like driving down an unfamiliar road at night…you never know exactly what is coming up ahead…and you could hit a giant pothole at any given moment. 

These issues are not new…I am sure parents have had the same complaints for hundreds of years.  What is new, though, is a communication phenomenon facing today’s parents, and it involves technology.

The advent of Facebook, Twitter, and unlimited texting have “unleashed the beast”.  Suddenly we have endless ways to communicate, and teens are tech-savvy enough to master them all.  All of this spells trouble for parents trying to maintain communication with their teens.  It may also be a problem for the teens themselves.

Donna Nahlik, Prevention Specialist II, Chestnut Health Systems  

The holidays are upon us…can you believe it?  It seems like the stores barely finish packing up the red, white, and blue decorations in July when they break out the Christmas trees, tinsel, and lights.  That is a bit of an exaggeration, but not by much.  We call it “Christmas Creep”…when holiday displays just slowly happen earlier and earlier every year. With all of the holiday hoopla comes a lot of stress and angst, as families struggle to produce …THE PERFECT HOLIDAY for their families, whether it be Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, etc.